Alaskan Cruise, Part XIII: A Tale of Two Trees

I'm hoping to wrap up last summer's trip before the end of this summer.   In this installment, we're focusing on the Tale Of Two Trees...  to be more specific, the tale of two drive-through trees.  We visited two of them in our journey and give you the details here.  Leaf your cares behind and join me, as we get to the root of today's topic!   BLOGGER NOTE:   All subsequent tree puns will be removed by the blogging service.

Drive-through trees have always captured the public's imagination.   The most famous drive through tree, the Wawona tree, was located in Yosemite National Park and was the second tunnel tree created.   This is the tree pictured on countless postcards, brochures, and other promotional materials.   It was carved out in 1881 as a  tourist attraction and a promotional stunt.  Pictures of cars and buses driving through the tree were distributed throughout the world to help promote tourism in Yosemite and to show the vast size of the trees.  This tree stood until 1969, when a large snowfall caused the already-fragile tree to fall to the ground.   It has since been replaced by the Fallen Tree Tunnel when the forest service cut another tunnel through the trunk of a fallen tree.  The horizontal drive-through tree was not replaced, as the National Park Service no longer goes for gimmicky trees.   And we are a poorer people for it.

A tour bus poses next to the Wawona tree in Yosemite.

The Fallen Tree Tunnel, a mighty poor replacement for the Wawona tree.

People still ask about the famous Wawona tree...  So many, in fact, that a few entrepreneurial folks decide to get into the drive through tree business.   Sure, only God can make a tree, but only man can carve a big hole in one.  Three drive-through trees still exist, all privately owned and operating as a sort of "branch" office (BLOGGER NOTE: Okay, we'll let one more get through.   But that's it.).  I have visited two of them, and will visit the third one this summer.   Below is a comparison of the two I visited, the Chandelier Tree and the Klamath Tour Through Tree.  The Shrine Tree will be reviewed later.

We'll start with the Klamath Tour-Through Tree.  This tree is located in beautiful Klamath county, famous for just about nothing.   It's a pretty boring area.   The tree is located on a bluff over the Klamath river, a river that seems in just as much of a hurry to get out of town as you are.  In fact, the river flows in two directions, both of them leaving town.   The tree is $5 and takes about 10 minutes...   you drive up the hill to a small clearing, drive through the tree, then turn around and drive out.   When we went, there was a couple of senior citizens that were motorcycling their way across country and two girls from Sweden who were amazed that you could actually drive through a tree.   I've heard stories about Sweden, and I assumed living there would be more exciting than THIS.   We took the obligatory photos, helped our fellow travelers with their photos, and were back down the hill in 20 minutes.   We stopped at the gift shop - very small, and no great shakes.   I ended up buying nothing, and if you've ever seen me in a gift shop, you can assume there was very little to recommend. 

Me and the Klamath Tour-through Tree.

 This would be a good time to talk about how you drive through a tree.    The answer is similar to the old joke, "How do porcupines mate?"   The answer:   VERY carefully.  No matter how much room you actually have, it never seems to be quite enough.   Before going through the tree, I inhale and held my breath, as if that gave us extra room to scrooch through.   It's helpful to have a partner watching the car on the passenger side, and not the kind with a weird sense of humor.   Making scraping noises in the middle of a tree is NOT funny.   Once you get through, get out, count your side mirrors, and exhale a sigh of relief.   You have driven through a tree!   My uncle tried driving through a tree once and failed...  of course, he was drunk at the time, and this particular tree didn't have a tunnel carved into it.

The Chandelier Tree is located in Leggett.   If you thought Klamath was boring, wait until you see downtown Leggett.   When the biggest business in town is a drive-through tree, well, you have a real economic slowdown on your hands.  The tree is located at the edge of town.   The Chandelier Tree was carved in the 1930's and is probably the most famous of the three current drive-through trees.   The tree was featured in the opening credits of National Lampoon's Vacation, so you're dealing with a real celebrity here.  This tree is actually located in a nice grove-like area, with picnic areas, a small lake, and a good -sized gift store ready to meet all your tree-related needs.  I bought a nice tree-t-shirt and considered buying the Thirsty Bird, but better sense prevailed. 

The Chandalier tree.   The tunnel is no bigger than it looks.

We made it through the tree!   Please note both rear-view windows clearly attached.

So, let's compare the two experiences, and choose a winner...

• Admission:   Comparable.  
• Celebrity Status:  The Chandelier tree wins out here.
• Gift Shop:  Again, the Chandelier tree was the clear winner.   Not only was the gift shop better, but it sold ice cream.
• Surrounding area:  Klamath was a nicer area than Leggett , with several Indian casinos close by.  So I give this one to the Tour-through tree.
• Extra amenities:  The Chandelier tree had picnic areas, a lake, and most important, a bathroom.  Clearly the edge here goes to the Chandelier tree. 

So there you have it.   Chandelier is the winner.  This year we will visit the third tree, the Shrine tree and complete our analysis of the drive through tree business.   Look for chapter "tree" in the near future!   (If you read this far, it's you own fault.   Personally we stopped reading after the "branch office" comment.)