The Worst Cartoon Character of all Time - NUMBER ONE!!

Well, we've made it.   We've sorted through the first nine Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time, and now we are at the Number One Worst.  For those of you who disagree with my choices, I invite you to make your own list and I will happily post it here, where it will be read by nearly no one.   Hardly worth the effort, isn't it?   With that, I bring you my #1 choice for Worst Cartoon Character of all Time:

10.  Baby Huey
9.  Squiddly Diddly
8.  Buzzy the Crow
7.  Hippity Hopper
6.  Loopy de Loop
5.  Go Go Gophers
4.  The Blue Racer
3.  The Beary Family
2.  Sad Cat
1.  Klondike Kat

 Total Television Productions is a mixed bag.   They produced some cartoon series that were actually decent, such as Tennessee Tuxedo, King Leonardo, and their most famous creation, Underdog.  On the other hand, they created some cartoons that are so bad they challenge even the most avid cartoon fan to sit through an episode.   Klondike Kat was the worst, as far as I am concerned, beating out Commander McBragg as the worst thing they ever made.

Klondike Kat is a "Klondike Kop" (I don't know why they had this aversion to the letter C), working out of Fort Frazzle under the direction of Major Minor.  He is constantly trying to apprehend Savoir Faire, a French Canadian mouse who is terrorizing the Klondike, robbing everyone of their food.  Savoir Faire is aided by Malamutt, his sled dog and all-around valet.

Malamutt does not talk, which is a blessing.   This cartoon series is saddled with more asinine catch phrases than any cartoon series I've ever seen, and every phrase is used at least twice  in every episode.  Klondike is fond of saying "Klondike Kat always gets his mouse!" and "I'll make mincemeat out of the mouse!" which is as inane as it is unappetizing.  Savoir Faire's calling card is "Savoir faire is everywhere!" in probably the worst French accent since Pepe le Pew.  By the end of just one cartoon, you want to rip off your ears as well as your eyes. 

To add to all this, the cartoons are (I know I have used this a lot lately) badly animated and unfunny.  The characters are badly designed and don't have any characteristics that make you want to root for them, sympathize with them - nothing.  You actually end up DISliking the characters intensely after a viewing.  This series is a total waste of time from beginning to end. 

The Klondike Kat cartoons were created in 1963 as part of the Tennessee Tuxedo show.  As Total Television began rerunning and syndicating their old shows, Klondike Kat ended up on the Underdog show and the Go Go Gophers show as well, which provided him with a much longer television life than he deserved.  I watched a LOT of cartoons as a kid, and I distinctly remember leaving the room whenever Klondike Kat appeared on the screen.   I hated him then, and still do to this day.

Another TV cartoon series, Dudley Do-Right, covered some of the same territory as Klondike Kat, but instead of being a train wreck it was actually a hilarious, well-written and produced parody of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.  However, it was said that the actual RCMP protested the series.   Evidently they had never heard of Klondike Kat...

OK, I hate to do it, but here is a Klondike Kat cartoon.  If you can make it to the end, as a reward you can see a "Sing a Long Family" cartoon, one of the few cartoon series that Total Television did well.  Hopefully that will make up for what you are about to watch.  Put away any firearms and any sharp utensils as you watch Island in the Sky, a title which makes absolutely no sense...



Okay, I know that many of you are wondering why certan cartoons are missing, and why didn't they make the list.   Next week i will post the 'Honorable Mentions," listing the cartoons that maybe should have been on this list but for one reason or another were not included.   I promise I will discuss The Great Gazoo, Pepe le Pew, and other suggestions that were made.  See you here next week!

Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time, Number 2

We're almost there....   only one away from the worst cartoon character of all time!   I'm sure that all the wagering is getting fierce, and the Vegas oddsman are offering incredible odds on the Great Gazoo, but let me remind you of the rules before you place your bets:

• It must be the STAR of a cartoon series.   No supporting players.
• It must be a cartoon series suitable for everyone in the family - no adult swim cartoons!
• It must be a cartoon series seen in America.
• It must be a cartoon series that I have heard of.

There, does that help you in hedging your bets?    By next week, all questions will be answered and all secrets will be revealed.   But for now, you will have to be satisfied with the number two choice.   Please feel free to scratch out your eyeballs as I present my number two choice for Worst Cartoon Character of all Time....

10. Baby Huey
9. Squiddly Diddly
8. Buzzy the Crow
7. Hippity Hopper
6. Loopy De Loop
5. Go Go Gophers
4. The Blue Racer
3,  The Beary Family
2.  Sad Cat

 

 Film critic Leonard Maltin described Sad Cat as "The dreariest character ever created."    I couldn't agree more.   Sad Cat is the most pathetic, boring, dreary and depressing cartoon character I have ever had the displeasure to watch.   The cartoon series was created by animation legend Ralph Bashki, who went on to create other things (the lack of adjectives is intentional).  The cartoons were produced between 1965-1968 by Terrytoons, home of other beloved and world-famous cartoon stars such as Mighty Mouse, Dinky Duck, Gandy Goose, Dimwit, Sourpuss and Heckle and Jeckle. 

The Sad Cat cartoons were based on the Cinderella fairy tale.  Sad Cat, for some reason, is forced to play housemaid to his two ugly stepbrothers, Latimore and Fenimore.   It is an oppressive, bleak,  and dismal existence, until Sad Cat meets Gadimouse, an apprentice good fairy trying to earn his wand.   Gadimouse does his best to try and give Sad Cat the Happy Ending that will turn things around for everyone, but he usually ends up just making things worse.  The cartoons end with Sad Cat in a more desperate situation than he was at the beginning.   Maybe this is a good life lesson, but it does not
make for good entertainment.

To add to this, the cartoons are loud, cluttered, unfunny and annoying.   The voice of Sad Cat immediately grates on you the minute you hear it, and the feeling never goes away.  There is not a gag or joke that is funny or even mildly amusing.  The whole experience leaves you feeling like you've completely wasted six minutes of your life that you desperately want back at all costs.   I can't imagine the audience reaction after having to sit through one of these cartoons while waiting for a feature film. 

After the first five films, Ralph Bashki left Terrytoons.   The Sad Cat cartoons continued on, but the Gadimouse character was replaced with SuperEgo, a confident, pumped-up version of Sad Cat.  This character would appear halfway through the film and actually set things right, so that the cartoons would end on a more positive, upbeat note.   Watching these cartoons, I was happy when the darn things just ENDED.    
I hate to do this to you, but I am embedding a Sad Cat cartoon below.   You are under no obligation to watch it.   You would be better off removing your own appendix.   But, for those of you who can't say "no" and have no fear of nightmares, here is the best copy of a Sad Cat cartoon I could find.   It's titled Dress Reversal and traumatized the moviegoing population in 1965.   Remember, no refunds...

Worst Cartoon Character of all Time, Part 3

We've listed seven, and finally reached the TOP THREE in our listing of Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time!   We are now at the point of severe badness.   Up to this point, the cartoon characters listed had SOME redeeming quality that kept them from being ranked higher.   These last three entries...  are really rank.  They are the true bottom of the barrel.  As I have warned you before, shield your eyes from the videos as we start into listing number three....

10. Baby Huey
9. Squiddly Diddly
8. Buzzy the Crow
7. Hippity Hopper
6. Loopy De Loop
5. Go Go Gophers
4.  The Blue Racer
3. The Beary Family

Walter Lantz had one of the longest careers in animation and was truly an animation pioneer.  He began his career in 1916 working on silent films and by 1924 he was starring in his own live action / animated cartoon series entitled "Dinky Doodle".   Any of the Dinky Doodle cartoons are better than
the best "Beary Family" cartoon ever produced.

In 1928, Walter Lantz was given the character "Oswald the Lucky Rabbit." whose cartoons were formerly produced by Walt Disney and Charles Mintz.   Walter eventually set up his own independent cartoon studio and churned out over a hundred Oswald cartoons for Universal Studios, any of which is better than the best "Beary Family" cartoon that was ever planned to be produced.

In the coming years, Lantz would come up with a variety of cartoon stars, such as Andy Panda, Chilly Willy, Wally Walrus and of course, Woody Woodpecker.  Any of the cartoons with these characters are, of course better than any "Beary Family" cartoon that you could imagine being produced (with the exception of the last few years of Chilly Willy cartoons).

In the 1960's, as theatrical cartoons became less and less popular, Lantz tried coming up with a new cartoon series that he hoped would grab the public's attention.   There was Inspector Willoughby, who almost made this list of "Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time."  There was Hickory, Dickory and Doc.   There was Windy and Breezy.  And finally, the one that lasted the longest, the Beary Family.

The Beary Family was a take off of the family sitcoms that permeated television in the late 1950's.   Think of "The Life of Riley" and you've got it.  The characters included Charlie Beary, the usual loud mouthed, long-suffering father, Bessie, the nagging, long-suffering wife, dimwitted teenage son Junior and cute (and long suffering) daughter Suzy.   Daughter Suzy got smart and left the series after the first few years, deciding life in an orphanage was better than a career with the Beary Family.  The plots of these cartoons usually dealt with some household activity, such as installing a spare room, that would end in disaster.   As the Walter Lantz Cartune Encyclopedia notes, most cartoons in the series contained two lines of dialogue similar to this:

Bessie:  "Charlie, we really need a ___________________"  (fill in blank with new TV, spare room, new oven, swimming pool, bomb shelter, etc.)
Charlie: "OK, but I won't pay $10 to install it.   I'll do it myself!"

The next six minutes would play like a bad Laurel and Hardy short (all of which are better than any "Beary Family" cartoon ever produced) as Charlie and Junior would wreck the house trying to install the TV arial, the gas pipes, or whatever it may be.   Unfortunatley, all the Beary Family cartoons feature poor music, bad gags, uninspired plots and limited animation.   Plus the characters themselves were worn cliches even by 1962, inspiring neither laughter or sympathy.

Walter Lantz produced almost 30 Beary Family cartoons from 1962 until 1972, when the studio officially closed.   Andy Panda, a legitimate cartoon success, appeared in only 27 cartoons.  Hollywood is fickle and unfair. 

Please think it over carefully before you hit "Play" on the video below.   Life is good, your friends and family love you, you make a significant contribution at work...   why spoil the rest of your life by watching one little video?   Here is "Let Charlie Do It" released to an unsuspecting public in 1972.  I'm imagining the audience for 'The Godfather" who got this cartoon shown to them before the feature.  Being killed by the mafia must've seemed like a welcome relief.

Animation drawing from the cartoon above.  

Below:   There was some merchandise produced, such as puzzles, books and the like.   Here is a coloring book featuring the family when Suzy was still around.