The Worst Cartoon Character of all Time - NUMBER ONE!!

Well, we've made it.   We've sorted through the first nine Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time, and now we are at the Number One Worst.  For those of you who disagree with my choices, I invite you to make your own list and I will happily post it here, where it will be read by nearly no one.   Hardly worth the effort, isn't it?   With that, I bring you my #1 choice for Worst Cartoon Character of all Time:

10.  Baby Huey
9.  Squiddly Diddly
8.  Buzzy the Crow
7.  Hippity Hopper
6.  Loopy de Loop
5.  Go Go Gophers
4.  The Blue Racer
3.  The Beary Family
2.  Sad Cat
1.  Klondike Kat

 Total Television Productions is a mixed bag.   They produced some cartoon series that were actually decent, such as Tennessee Tuxedo, King Leonardo, and their most famous creation, Underdog.  On the other hand, they created some cartoons that are so bad they challenge even the most avid cartoon fan to sit through an episode.   Klondike Kat was the worst, as far as I am concerned, beating out Commander McBragg as the worst thing they ever made.

Klondike Kat is a "Klondike Kop" (I don't know why they had this aversion to the letter C), working out of Fort Frazzle under the direction of Major Minor.  He is constantly trying to apprehend Savoir Faire, a French Canadian mouse who is terrorizing the Klondike, robbing everyone of their food.  Savoir Faire is aided by Malamutt, his sled dog and all-around valet.

Malamutt does not talk, which is a blessing.   This cartoon series is saddled with more asinine catch phrases than any cartoon series I've ever seen, and every phrase is used at least twice  in every episode.  Klondike is fond of saying "Klondike Kat always gets his mouse!" and "I'll make mincemeat out of the mouse!" which is as inane as it is unappetizing.  Savoir Faire's calling card is "Savoir faire is everywhere!" in probably the worst French accent since Pepe le Pew.  By the end of just one cartoon, you want to rip off your ears as well as your eyes. 

To add to all this, the cartoons are (I know I have used this a lot lately) badly animated and unfunny.  The characters are badly designed and don't have any characteristics that make you want to root for them, sympathize with them - nothing.  You actually end up DISliking the characters intensely after a viewing.  This series is a total waste of time from beginning to end. 

The Klondike Kat cartoons were created in 1963 as part of the Tennessee Tuxedo show.  As Total Television began rerunning and syndicating their old shows, Klondike Kat ended up on the Underdog show and the Go Go Gophers show as well, which provided him with a much longer television life than he deserved.  I watched a LOT of cartoons as a kid, and I distinctly remember leaving the room whenever Klondike Kat appeared on the screen.   I hated him then, and still do to this day.

Another TV cartoon series, Dudley Do-Right, covered some of the same territory as Klondike Kat, but instead of being a train wreck it was actually a hilarious, well-written and produced parody of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.  However, it was said that the actual RCMP protested the series.   Evidently they had never heard of Klondike Kat...

OK, I hate to do it, but here is a Klondike Kat cartoon.  If you can make it to the end, as a reward you can see a "Sing a Long Family" cartoon, one of the few cartoon series that Total Television did well.  Hopefully that will make up for what you are about to watch.  Put away any firearms and any sharp utensils as you watch Island in the Sky, a title which makes absolutely no sense...



Okay, I know that many of you are wondering why certan cartoons are missing, and why didn't they make the list.   Next week i will post the 'Honorable Mentions," listing the cartoons that maybe should have been on this list but for one reason or another were not included.   I promise I will discuss The Great Gazoo, Pepe le Pew, and other suggestions that were made.  See you here next week!

Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time, Number 2

We're almost there....   only one away from the worst cartoon character of all time!   I'm sure that all the wagering is getting fierce, and the Vegas oddsman are offering incredible odds on the Great Gazoo, but let me remind you of the rules before you place your bets:

• It must be the STAR of a cartoon series.   No supporting players.
• It must be a cartoon series suitable for everyone in the family - no adult swim cartoons!
• It must be a cartoon series seen in America.
• It must be a cartoon series that I have heard of.

There, does that help you in hedging your bets?    By next week, all questions will be answered and all secrets will be revealed.   But for now, you will have to be satisfied with the number two choice.   Please feel free to scratch out your eyeballs as I present my number two choice for Worst Cartoon Character of all Time....

10. Baby Huey
9. Squiddly Diddly
8. Buzzy the Crow
7. Hippity Hopper
6. Loopy De Loop
5. Go Go Gophers
4. The Blue Racer
3,  The Beary Family
2.  Sad Cat

 

 Film critic Leonard Maltin described Sad Cat as "The dreariest character ever created."    I couldn't agree more.   Sad Cat is the most pathetic, boring, dreary and depressing cartoon character I have ever had the displeasure to watch.   The cartoon series was created by animation legend Ralph Bashki, who went on to create other things (the lack of adjectives is intentional).  The cartoons were produced between 1965-1968 by Terrytoons, home of other beloved and world-famous cartoon stars such as Mighty Mouse, Dinky Duck, Gandy Goose, Dimwit, Sourpuss and Heckle and Jeckle. 

The Sad Cat cartoons were based on the Cinderella fairy tale.  Sad Cat, for some reason, is forced to play housemaid to his two ugly stepbrothers, Latimore and Fenimore.   It is an oppressive, bleak,  and dismal existence, until Sad Cat meets Gadimouse, an apprentice good fairy trying to earn his wand.   Gadimouse does his best to try and give Sad Cat the Happy Ending that will turn things around for everyone, but he usually ends up just making things worse.  The cartoons end with Sad Cat in a more desperate situation than he was at the beginning.   Maybe this is a good life lesson, but it does not
make for good entertainment.

To add to this, the cartoons are loud, cluttered, unfunny and annoying.   The voice of Sad Cat immediately grates on you the minute you hear it, and the feeling never goes away.  There is not a gag or joke that is funny or even mildly amusing.  The whole experience leaves you feeling like you've completely wasted six minutes of your life that you desperately want back at all costs.   I can't imagine the audience reaction after having to sit through one of these cartoons while waiting for a feature film. 

After the first five films, Ralph Bashki left Terrytoons.   The Sad Cat cartoons continued on, but the Gadimouse character was replaced with SuperEgo, a confident, pumped-up version of Sad Cat.  This character would appear halfway through the film and actually set things right, so that the cartoons would end on a more positive, upbeat note.   Watching these cartoons, I was happy when the darn things just ENDED.    
I hate to do this to you, but I am embedding a Sad Cat cartoon below.   You are under no obligation to watch it.   You would be better off removing your own appendix.   But, for those of you who can't say "no" and have no fear of nightmares, here is the best copy of a Sad Cat cartoon I could find.   It's titled Dress Reversal and traumatized the moviegoing population in 1965.   Remember, no refunds...

Worst Cartoon Character of all Time, Part 3

We've listed seven, and finally reached the TOP THREE in our listing of Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time!   We are now at the point of severe badness.   Up to this point, the cartoon characters listed had SOME redeeming quality that kept them from being ranked higher.   These last three entries...  are really rank.  They are the true bottom of the barrel.  As I have warned you before, shield your eyes from the videos as we start into listing number three....

10. Baby Huey
9. Squiddly Diddly
8. Buzzy the Crow
7. Hippity Hopper
6. Loopy De Loop
5. Go Go Gophers
4.  The Blue Racer
3. The Beary Family

Walter Lantz had one of the longest careers in animation and was truly an animation pioneer.  He began his career in 1916 working on silent films and by 1924 he was starring in his own live action / animated cartoon series entitled "Dinky Doodle".   Any of the Dinky Doodle cartoons are better than
the best "Beary Family" cartoon ever produced.

In 1928, Walter Lantz was given the character "Oswald the Lucky Rabbit." whose cartoons were formerly produced by Walt Disney and Charles Mintz.   Walter eventually set up his own independent cartoon studio and churned out over a hundred Oswald cartoons for Universal Studios, any of which is better than the best "Beary Family" cartoon that was ever planned to be produced.

In the coming years, Lantz would come up with a variety of cartoon stars, such as Andy Panda, Chilly Willy, Wally Walrus and of course, Woody Woodpecker.  Any of the cartoons with these characters are, of course better than any "Beary Family" cartoon that you could imagine being produced (with the exception of the last few years of Chilly Willy cartoons).

In the 1960's, as theatrical cartoons became less and less popular, Lantz tried coming up with a new cartoon series that he hoped would grab the public's attention.   There was Inspector Willoughby, who almost made this list of "Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time."  There was Hickory, Dickory and Doc.   There was Windy and Breezy.  And finally, the one that lasted the longest, the Beary Family.

The Beary Family was a take off of the family sitcoms that permeated television in the late 1950's.   Think of "The Life of Riley" and you've got it.  The characters included Charlie Beary, the usual loud mouthed, long-suffering father, Bessie, the nagging, long-suffering wife, dimwitted teenage son Junior and cute (and long suffering) daughter Suzy.   Daughter Suzy got smart and left the series after the first few years, deciding life in an orphanage was better than a career with the Beary Family.  The plots of these cartoons usually dealt with some household activity, such as installing a spare room, that would end in disaster.   As the Walter Lantz Cartune Encyclopedia notes, most cartoons in the series contained two lines of dialogue similar to this:

Bessie:  "Charlie, we really need a ___________________"  (fill in blank with new TV, spare room, new oven, swimming pool, bomb shelter, etc.)
Charlie: "OK, but I won't pay $10 to install it.   I'll do it myself!"

The next six minutes would play like a bad Laurel and Hardy short (all of which are better than any "Beary Family" cartoon ever produced) as Charlie and Junior would wreck the house trying to install the TV arial, the gas pipes, or whatever it may be.   Unfortunatley, all the Beary Family cartoons feature poor music, bad gags, uninspired plots and limited animation.   Plus the characters themselves were worn cliches even by 1962, inspiring neither laughter or sympathy.

Walter Lantz produced almost 30 Beary Family cartoons from 1962 until 1972, when the studio officially closed.   Andy Panda, a legitimate cartoon success, appeared in only 27 cartoons.  Hollywood is fickle and unfair. 

Please think it over carefully before you hit "Play" on the video below.   Life is good, your friends and family love you, you make a significant contribution at work...   why spoil the rest of your life by watching one little video?   Here is "Let Charlie Do It" released to an unsuspecting public in 1972.  I'm imagining the audience for 'The Godfather" who got this cartoon shown to them before the feature.  Being killed by the mafia must've seemed like a welcome relief.

Animation drawing from the cartoon above.  

Below:   There was some merchandise produced, such as puzzles, books and the like.   Here is a coloring book featuring the family when Suzy was still around.

 

The Top Ten Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time, Part 4

We're now diving into the depths of despair as we continue to list the Top Ten Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time.  We are now moving onto number four, which means after this we'll be listing the top three....  Please do what you can to refrain from hitting the play button on the videos.   Like a bad accident, once you look you may find yourself not looking away.  Please find something else to watch as we proceed onto number four...

10.  Baby Huey
9.    Squiddly Diddly
8.    Buzzy the Crow
7.    Hippity Hopper
6.    Loopy De Loop
5.    Go Go Gophers
4.    The Blue Racer

Depatie-Freleng produced some pretty bad cartoons at the end of their existence, any one of which would qualify as one of the "Worst Cartoon Characters of all time"  I chose the Blue Racer due to fact that A) it's racially insensitive as well as being a bad series and B) I could find a video on line.

Depatie-Freleng was a studio that got its start from the remains of the old Warner Bros. Cartoon Studio.  Friz Freleng teamed up with former WB cartoon producer Dave Depatie to form their own studio, DFE.  They started with commercial work, and were eventually approached by Blake Edwards to produce a title sequence for his Pink Panther film.  The titles were so successful that DFE soon spun the panther off into a series of cartoon for United Artist.  The studio enjoyed success with the Pink Panther cartoons, and eventually produced other cartoon series such as The Inspector and The Ant and the Aardvark.   However, as they went on to produce more cartoon stars, the quality began to slip more and more with each subsequent series.   The last few cartoon series they produced all had the same attributes:  Good design, good music and some decent animation, but lousy concepts and unfunny scripts.   Among the cartoons were:

The Tijuana Toads, which were later renamed (and redubbed) for television as the Texas Toads. 

Sheriff Hoot Kloot, who was modeled after a spokesman for Dodge Trucks...   I kid you not.

The Dogfather.   This was Depatie Freleng's last theatrical series...  Although in television they would go on to create Crazylegs Crane, MisterJaw, and others...

And finally, we get to the Blue Racer.   The Blue Racer was a snake, based on actual snakes found in the Northern United States.   The Blue Racer claims to be the "Fastest Snake in the World" and is usually shown zipping through the scenic backgrounds.   The Blue Racer has no name and very little personality, so the cartoons live and die by the scripts and gags that the writers came up with for this character.   Unfortunatley, most of the cartoons die a painful death.   To add insult to injury, many of the cartoons have the Blue Racer chasing a Japanese Beetle in an effort to make a meal out of the insect.   The beetle is, of course, the most racial insensitive portrayal the writers can come up with...  which you can judge by yourself by watching the snake's debut cartoon, Hiss and Hers, released in 1972.



I admit, this series should have ranked slightly higher....   but I had a hard time finding samples.   To make up for it, as an added bonus, today only, we offer the last Depatie Freleng Dogfather cartoon...   Medicur, from 1976.



 

The Top Ten Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time, Part 5

We're halfway there!  We have already listed numbers 6-10 in the Top Ten Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time, and are now moving onto the Top Five.   Things will be getting much, much worse now, so please only watch the videos if you truly have NOTHING better to do with your day.   If you really give it some thought, I am sure you can come up with something better.  With all warnings in place, we cautiously move onto number five...

10.  Baby Huey
9.  Squiddly Diddly
8.  Buzzy the Crow
7.  Hippity Hopper
6.  Loopy De Loop
5.  The Go-Go Gophers

This culturally sensitive cartoon series was originally part of the Underdog television show from 1966-1968.   The cartoons all took place in Gopher Gulch, home to a Midwest American army fort during the late 19th century.  In charge of the fort was Colonel Kit Coyote, aided by his Sergeant Okey Homa.  At this point in Gopher Gulch history, all the Indians have been driven out of the area except two remaining members of the Gopher Indian tribe, Chief Running Board and Rumbled Feather.  These two have decided to fight the colonization of their land and stay in Gopher Gulch.  The cartoons all deal with the Colonel's efforts to secure Gopher Gulch by eliminating the remaining Indian population, and how the Gopher Indians thwart his every attempt.


I'm not sure who decided the genocide of the Native Americans was great fodder for a cartoon series, especially in the 1960's, but for some reason this series was quite successful.  After appearing on Underdog, the Go-Go Gophers were spun off into their own series from 1968-1969.  They then made random appearances on Tennessee Tuxedo and other Total Television shows in syndication.   As recently as 2012 their cartoons were released on a series of DVD's, despite the fact that the cartoons are probably the most un-PC cartoons ever made for television.  (Interested in buying?  Here's the link)  The subject matter is insensitive and the stereotypes are broad and insulting, with Chief Running Board speaking in dialect that went out of fashion long ago.  Rumpled Feather hardly speaks at all.

In addition to all this, the cartoons are all pretty much the same, not terribly funny, and cheaply animated.   Here's a typical example of a Go Go Gopher cartoon... 

On your right, a set of glasses featuring the Gopher Indians.  A Pepsi giveaway from the late 60's or early 70's.

Below, a 2012 DVD release of "The Best of the Go Go Gophers."   I'm no sure who chose which ones were the best, but if he had to watch all 48 cartoons to decide, he definitely has my sympathies.

The Ten Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time, Number 6

We're still at work, listing the Ten Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time!  Number six has checked in, and you can read all about him in the blog entry below.  Remember, if you have your own list you'd like printed, please send it in and I'll print it and the end of the series.   Now, on to number six...

10.  Baby Huey
9.  Squiddly Diddly
8.  Buzzy the Crow
7.  Hippity Hopper
6.  Loopy De Loop

When I was a kid, we had a book around the house entitled "Huckleberry Hound Treasury."  I loved the early Hanna-Barbera characters at that time, and read this book constantly during my childhood.  It was a great book, containing full-color illustrated stories of all the Hanna-Barbera characters at the time.   Here's a picture of the book.

Such memorable characters!   Yogi Bear!   Mr. Jinks!  Quick Draw McGraw!   Loopy De Loop!   Pixie and...    Loopy De Loop?  Who the heck is Loopy De Loop?    I watched all the Hanna Barbera shows religiously and had never seen hide nor hair of any character named Loopy the Loop.  Was he some long-lost relative of Hokey Wolf?  This character was a total mystery to me.  It took me years until I was able to finally discover his identity.

Loopy was the star in a series of theatrical cartoons created by Hanna-Barbera between 1959 and 1964.   Hanna-Barbera productions was created in 1957 by Joe Barbera and William Hanna.   Joe and Bill had just been fired after almost 20 years with the MGM cartoon department, where they created the Tom and Jerry characters.  They had immediate success in television, creating Ruff and Reddy in 1957, Huckleberry Hound in 1958 and Quick Draw McGraw in 1959.  Meanwhile, theatrical cartoons were going through a uneven time, as several studios were closing their cartoon departments but still wanting a steady supply of new cartoons.   Columbia Pictures was an earlier supporter of Hanna-Barbera (Harry Cohn owned 18% of H-B at the time) and its Screen Gems television subsidiary was handling the H-B product.   Columbia was releasing UPA cartoons to theaters in the late 1950's and when UPA stopped producing theatrical shorts, Columbia turned to H-B for a new series.  H-B created Loopy De Loop, who starred in 48 cartoons between 1959 and 1965.  The cartoons eventually received limited television exposure, but quickly slipped into cartoon oblivion.

A rare Loopy De Loop theater poster

Loopy De Loop is a French-Canadian wolf who has dedicated his life to clearing the bad name wolves have earned throughout the years.  Loopy is a "good wolf" who spends his time trying to do good deeds and prove to the world that he is a "good wolf."   However, he has a hard time convincing everyone of his honorable intentions, and usually gets shot or beaten for his efforts.  The problem with this formula is: 1) it is extremely repetative, and 2) it isn't funny.  After one or two of these cartoons you wish Loopy would revert to "bad wolf" and eat everyone he has encountered in the last 6 minutes.  The cartoons were produced in the same fashion as the rest of H-B's product at the time, which means limited animation and stock music.

For reasons I don't quite understand, Warner Bros. has chosen to release a DVD set of all of Loopy's cartoons (sigh...   yes, I admit, I bought a copy).   For the sadistics out there, here's a link.   Below is Loopy's first appearance in the 1959 cartoon "Wolf Hounded."

Loopy got his own Little Golden Book that was eventually reprinted in the Huckleberry Hound Treasury.

More Loopy merchandise.  Loopy looks a little too...  loopy here.

The Ten Worst Cartoon Characters of all Time - Number 7

Sorry for the delay, it's been a busy week.  I had to go out to the mailbox twice this week.  And those darn girl scouts keep ringing my door asking if I want cookies.  One day I may have to turn them down.  We're back to giving you our ratings for the worst cartoon characters of all time.   Competition is getting fierce, but I think when the final list is unveiled you will agree with at least 30% of the choices.   If you agree with less than that, I'll be happy to post your list in a subsequent column.  But let's move on to number 7, as we move up the list to number one...

10.  Baby Huey
9.  Squiddly Diddly
8.  Buzzy the Crow
7.  Hippity Hopper

Okay, let's get one thing straight right now.   THIS is a baby kangaroo:

...And THIS is a giant mouse, better known as a Capybara, native to South America.

See any resemblance?   Sure, I guess they are both brown and furry, but then again so is a brown bear.   And yet Ranger Smith never mistook Yogi for a giant mouse.  A bear from outer space, yes, but never a giant mouse.

However, this mistaken identity is the basis for every Hippity Hopper film released by Warners Brothers from 1948 until 1964.  In case you're not familiar with the premise, the cartoon usually begins with a baby kangaroo escaping from a zoo, a circus, an Outback restaurant, or any other place you're likely to find a baby kangaroo.   He inevitably ends up in the neighborhood of Sylvester the Cat, who mistakes the baby kangaroo for a giant mouse and spends the rest of the cartoon trying to subdue the creature, and getting beaten to a pulp in the process.  Every cartoon in the series was directed by Robert McKimson.

The first couple of cartoons were interesting and fun, but soon after that the cartoons fell into the same repeated formula that would curse such cartoon stars as Pepe Le Pew, Casper, and any Famous Studios cartoon star. 

Hippity Hopper, the name of the baby kangaroo, has almost no personality and really doesn't do much in his own films.   He is the star of these cartoons much like the Roadrunner stars in a Roadrunner cartoon.   Let's be honest, the real star of the Roadrunner cartoons is the Coyote, and in the Hippity Hopper films it is Sylvester that really carries the film.  However, the Warner Bros. cartoon department seemed to think that Hippity Hopper had the star power, as you can see from these title cards:



Pop 'im Pop, 1950, Hippity Hopper's third film.   At least Sylvester is still getting second billing.

Lighthouse Mouse, 1955



Too Hop to handle, 1956.  At least Sylvester made it onto the title card.

Hippity Hopper went on to appear in comic books, some merchandise, and the occasional resurrection of the Warner Bros. characters in TV and movies such as Space Jam.   Below I've posted a Hippity Hopper cartoon that has a plot somewhat different than all the others (but not very), Bell Hoppy from 1954.   The nice thing about this one is Sylvester gets top billing...


Sylvester The Cat - (Ep. 42) - Bell Hoppy by cartoonNetworks

A rare piece of Hippity Hopper merchandise, a ceramic decanter