Like a great baseball pitcher, I hate to show off my best pitches so early in the game. If I give you all my best restaurants so early in my blogging, I'll have nothing to write about later. But I would hate to be hit by a bus and have left this planet without blogging about one of my favorite restaurants of all time, the Apple Pan.
The Apple Pan has been in business since 1947, and constantly rates as among the best burgers in Los Angeles. In my humble opinion, it is the best. It consists of a U-shaped counter the surrounds the cooking area, and that's it. Not tables, no booths, so be prepared to sit at the counter 'cause that is all there is. If there are no seats available, you'll need to wait. Take note of the other people waiting for spots, so you know when it's your turn to nab the next available seats. There are unwritten rules of etiquette here, and it's downright unsportsmanlike for you to grab seats before your turn. Believe me, I've tried. I don't think "Unsportsmanlike" was exactly the phrase the guy used as he threw me through onto Pico Blvd., but who can hear with salt shakers stuffed in each ear?
The restaurant has changed little in the last 60-some years, and that includes the waiters. They may seem grumpy at first, but give them time, they will grow on you. It's exactly what you'd expect at a 1940's lunch counter, and fits into the atmosphere perfectly.
The menu is small... burgers, a few sandwiches, pies and drinks. It's easy to order. First of all, forget the sandwiches entirely. I have heard great things about them, but that's not why you are here. You're here for a burger, darn it. I, personally, prefer the Hickory burger, which is served dripping with a red hickory sauce that's both sweet, tangy and a perfect compliment to the Tillamook cheese. The lettuce is crispy, the bun is toasted, and I think I have started to drool. More than normal, I mean.
This is a no-frills place. The burger is served wrapped in paper. Sodas are served in cans and bottles, with cone-style cups placed in metal holders. These holders were eliminated at one point, as the restaurant couldn't find a supplier to replace the ones that had worn out (read: stolen) throughout the years. Fortunately, replacements were located, and and the cups returned.
Now for dessert... At a place called the Apple Pan, one would think you should have the apple pie. Yeah, yeah, the apple pie is great, everyone loves it, highly rated, yadda-yadda-yadda... But to quote the race track tout on the old Jack Benny Show (now THERE is a reach)... "psst, hey, bud, take the banana cream pie." Huge chunks of banana are in a delicious banana filling, placed in a perfect crust and topped with a cream topping.... The best banana cream pie ever. EVER. In the history of banana cream pies, this is the pie that everything else was building up to. My lunch partner, upon finding out the last piece of pie was just sold, was ready to walk over to the guest who ordered it and offer them $20 for the slice. True story. I talked her out of it, but I'm not sure I made the right decision. Remind me to tell you about the time she spent $20 on a dozen Krispy Kream donuts. And don't get me started on the Piggley-Wiggley fries story. That one is for a later blog.
They are open until midnight on weekdays and 1 AM on weekends, closed Mondays. They only accept cash, so be ready to pay cash (after finishing my meal, I had to run across the street to an ATM to pay my bill. The waiter only kept my watch as collateral. I think he was joking, but don't ask me what time it is). Be sure to stop by when you are out that way, and make sure you invite me.....
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